i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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