I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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