you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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