oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
