haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
