Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
