Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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