She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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