My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
