Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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