That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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