Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
