I puked a lego.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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