i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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