omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
