i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
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