Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
that's an acceptable place to lick
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
