Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
