I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
