Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
40s are totally the cure
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth