Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
