i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
