Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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