Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
zippers are such a cool invention
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
