im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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