I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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