I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
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Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
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Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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