I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
