Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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