People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
