Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
