Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
