i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
