i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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