Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
did you just send me my own nude
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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