hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
