covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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