Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
