I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
