Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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