yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
