3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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