my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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