apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
