i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize