I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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