Please, let me fuck your mom
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Two words: nipple clamps
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