i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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