apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
