My hair reeks of homosexuality.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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