He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
