Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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