I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
