When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
