I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
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The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
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So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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