I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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