we have officially lost it.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
