He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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