it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
