you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Success! We fucked roommates!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
