Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
