Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
