I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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