Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
